I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
