We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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