party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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