Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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