Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i think im in europe. pls send help
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
