So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
