I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize