my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
