i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
