I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
