I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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