Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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