Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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