hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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