party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
