So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
