But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize