i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize