:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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