You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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