it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
