handjob tips. give me some.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
