i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
