she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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