Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The Olympian is in my bed
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