I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
did i just pee glitter
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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