We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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