i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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