just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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