Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
