he thought i was a dude.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
dude. I can hear the air.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
