at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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