Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
