I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
