called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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