Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
