I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
