im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
please come you make the beer taste better
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
