Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
