One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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