Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
