Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
