Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
