what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just found a bag of teeth...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
