His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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