I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
