I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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