i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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