Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize