ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
