Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
