Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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