9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
