is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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