dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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