Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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