I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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