every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
