hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize