Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
