Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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