I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
