is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
ok first of all what the fuck
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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