I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
